Friday, February 27, 2015

I am back from treatment and starting completely over.

If there is anyone still reading those posts then that is great and I hope you keep checking back because I promise I will be focusing more time on this blog from here on out.  I want to tell you a little more about my story because I generally shy away from that and just blog about topics that I feel might help people or that I have an opinion about.  It is time to make this blog a more interactive blog and that starts with me letting you all have a brief look at who I am.

For the past 18 years I have been deeply immersed in the midst of a very heavy addiction.  I have gone through just about every drug at one point or another.  But over the span of 2007-2013 I was prescribed 200 mg of methadone every day as well as other narcotics.  I then was dismissed from the pharmacologist who I was seeing and had to take up with a general medical doctor.  Well she reduced my dose over a couple of years and finally cut me all the way off of methadone in 2013, this led me to the use of heroin.  This drug quickly destroyed my life in about 8 months.  My home was foreclosed, I spent 60 days last year in jail, and there have been other repercussions as well.

In November of this year, you can see I said I was going to be gone for a couple of months, well that was because I checked myself into an inpatient treatment facility.  I was there for 70 days and now live in an Oxford House, which is a good safety net for me because I need that accountability held over my head or I fear I would succumb to using again.  This is my first go at being sober since I was 15 years old.  It's ironic but one of my renters used to call me a hypocrite for using drugs every day on a need for survival basis and yet at the same time teach other people about personal development and how to make money with internet marketing.

The thing is, I am very passionate about personal development and I am very passionate about helping other people reach their goals as well.  On a side note, service work is going to play a Huge role in my recovery I already know, and I am grateful for that.  I am also very passionate about making money, and the problem with that during my drug use was that I was earning a huge income but I was "investing" it back into the company only to wake up 12 hours later after being up a couple nights and not even remember the $800 purchase I had made the night or two previous.  Then when I would get back on my computer I would have 30 windows open, and in order to open more I would just have to close the ones that I thought had been open longest, or that I couldn't remember details about.  I know, I know, I definitely was not practicing all of what I preach.
How I feel after completing drug treatment.

This little guy is what I feel like right now in this moment though.  I know that I have so incredibly much in me to offer to this world and I am ready to quit living a life of continual procrastination and begin truly adding value to people's lives.  Two things drive me; improving myself and helping others' do the same, and earning a nice income so that I can help my family and live comfortably.  I am truly aware that it is only in the adding of value or providing value to others' that we are even able to earn income.  If you are not doing that, then you are a huckster and your earning days will be short lived.
So I have many goals now that I am sober, and I have come to the realization again that all of these goals are attainable providing I stick to the program and take it one day at a time, and play the tape to the end, and all that treatment jargon.  The jargon is not really for me, but the message is the same.  I am going back to school at the end of April to finish my degree, and I have taken on a volunteer position with a local non-profit company helping them with their social media management and some other web based jobs but I truly want to get back to my main focus of providing websites that people actively want to visit.

I shut down my actual money making sites while I was in treatment because I could not afford the hosting while I was in there with no one to work with them or run them for me.  I will be hoping to set them up again in April, but until then I am going to be focusing on this website.  I will be concentrating on providing good content in the blog and also see about actually setting up the rest of the website.  When I first started this site I started with a couple of pages but then this site fell to the back burner as you can see from the total amount of posts I made over the 2014 year.  But 2015 is a new year!  I am making a commitment to myself and to anyone reading this to actively post to this site and see where it can take us.  It is time to get back to things for the pure passion and fun of them again.

It is weird feeling emotions again, it has been a long time.  If you read this whole post, I appreciate it, and I hope to give you another reason to come back real soon.  Have a great day, take this message that I keep having to remind myself of, I think it is a good reminder for us all:

Keep Smiling

Here are a couple of positive affirmations for you:
"I give gratitude to the universe every day."
"My life is filled with joy and laughter."
"I see the positive in every situation."

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